An Empty Space
by The Forgotten Nobody
Summary: The first group dinner since Juliette's death. Spoilers for season 4 finale.


It's the first dinner they've had as a group since Juliette died and though there are now more of them than ever before, an overwhelming sense of loneliness overcomes Nick as he takes a seat at the table. The seat which had once been reserved for Juliette is now where Hank sits and only a fleeting moment of apprehension betrays that Hank knows its previous occupant.

Adalind sits opposite him, her stomach round and plump – they expect the baby to be born within the month considering the speedy nature of her pregnancies. Diana is next to her, with Miesner on the girl's other side as apparently the resistance have decided he be the child's personal body guard. Sean is opposite Diana, and the sly glances he casts in Miesner's direction show his displeasure at the bond this virtual stranger appears to have with his daughter. Monroe, Rosalee and Truble fill the remaining seats, Truble sitting the furthest from Nick.

Even though she knows she did the right thing, something Nick understands as well (as much as it hurts to admit), there's still a tension between them. Nicks knows they need to have a talk, just the two of them so that things can become better between them but there just hasn't been any time. Nick's been busy with arranging the funeral, coming up with a reasonable explanation for her death and consoling Juliette's family, while Truble keeps disappearing.

It's a wonder that the ten of them manage to fit around the small table at Monroe and Rosalee's but Nick's place (which he was now trying to sell) was out of the question. Elbows knock more than a few times but even in the cramped space Nick thinks it still feels empty. Juliette's presence had been in his life for so long that it just feels wrong to know it'll never be there again.

Nick knows that the person who died that night was not Juliette. In a way, the Juliette he knew had died when she became a hexenbiest and wasn't that a stab in the chest. Nick's selfish desire to get his Grimm powers back had effectively killed Juliette.

Everyone told him he wasn't to blame for this, but as Juliette herself had said, they'd all played a part in this. Not only that, Nick knew he should have broken it off with her years ago, back when she got kidnapped, when she lost her memories, when it was clear there was a part of her that wanted the normal life Nick just couldn't provide for her anymore. He'd had so many opportunities, so many reasons to stop and the fact was he hadn't and now Juliette was dead. People could sugar-coat it all they wanted but that was the cold hard truth. Nick had been selfish, and this was what had happened. Aunt Marie had known it would end like this and he just hadn't listened.

Thinking of Aunt Marie leads his thoughts dangerously close to his mother so Nick focuses on the home-cooked food in front of him. It's mostly silent as they eat; no one knows what to talk about, or what's safe to talk about. The issue is, any topic they come up with will be linked with Juliette or would have some relation to recent events. It's been such a long time since they've had a semblance of normality that there's nothing normal left to talk about. Nick's fond of a bit of silence and peace, but right now it's stifling.

Eventually, Wu speaks.

"So, uh, Adalind, pregnancy going well?"

"Um, yes. Won't be long now," she replies with a strained smile. Nick can see she's trying to be pleasant, to be good, that she has been ever since she arrived back. That's not to say he's forgiven her or forgotten everything she's done, the part she played in everything with Juliette, but he knows that he too has to make an effort. For the sake of his son.

"Though of any names yet?"

Adalind shakes her head. "I thought I would leave that to Nick."

All eyes turn towards him and Nick wants to shrink away from their scrutiny. Nick has no idea what he wants to call the baby. In a way, what with how fast everything has happened, he is still struggling to believe he's going to be a father. Nick expects it won't really hit him until the baby is born and Nick can hold him, see the resemblance the child with have to him. And Adalind. Not Juliette.

The group is still waiting for a response so he just shrugs. That simple act seems to placate them as the eyes look away and the awkward attempt at conversation resumes.

"Mama, could I have some more?"

Nick still isn't able to get over how much Diana has grown in such a short time. It makes him wonder if his own baby will have the same growth rate, whether his childhood will be over in the blink of an eye. He also wonders whether his child will have the same…powers as Diana though he's fairly certain he will. Nick isn't entirely sure how he feels about that.

"Of course sweetheart."

Diana's eyes flash violet and a trail of peas start to travel to her plate. Adalind gives her daughter a proud smile, as do both Miesner and Sean. The rivalry between them is obvious, but it's not Nick's place to get involved. Unless one tries to kill the other. Then he might feel obligated to step in.

Talk turns to Diana after that, her being the easiest topic to discuss. The child revels in the attention and Nick is content to let the conversation to wash over him. No one really expects him to speak much anyway. Soon dinner is finished and Adalind and Diana leave along with Miesner to their new safe house. Sean looks after them longingly and declines when Rosalee offers that he stay with them for coffee. Wu leaves soon after, as does Truble with only a quick, quiet goodbye.

That leaves Nick, Monroe, Rosalee and Hank to sit by the fire, coffees in hand. Finally, Monroe broaches the subject they'd been avoiding all night.

"How are you doing buddy?" He asks softly, voice barely heard over the crackle of the flames that remind him of Juliette's vibrant hair.

The question is one he has been asked a lot in the past week by varying people. Most of the time he just shrugs but he thinks that answer will not be good enough this time.

"You know you can talk to us about anything, anything at all," Rosalee says with a sad smile.

"Yeah man, we know it's been hard on you and it might do you some good to properly talk about things," Hank adds.

Nick sighs and considers his response. "I…don't really know what to say," he eventually says. "I mean, everything's just different now and this time there isn't even the chance of things going back to the way they were. At least with Juliette alive we could still hope…I guess I just miss her." Miss her was an understatement, considering the major part she played in his life over the years and how throughout everything his future always involved her, but it was the best he could say.

"Oh Nick, we all do." Rosalee moves so she's sitting next to Nick and can place a comforting hand over his. All Nick can think is how different it feels to Juliette's.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to go on without her," he admits and if his voice breaks slightly, no one comments.

"You're not alone Nick." Rosalee squeezes his hand gently.

"Yeah Nick, we're not going anywhere," Hank says.

"And if you ever feel a bit lonely, you always have a room here," Monroe offers.

Nick gives his friends a small smile. With all the shit that goes on in his life, he really is lucky to have them all.

"Thanks guys."

The hurt doesn't disappear, he doesn't expect it ever will. Juliette's death signalled the start of a new life and while the thought of living without her is terrifying, perhaps the adjustment won't be as bad as he initially thought. Looking at the people he considers his best friends, Nick starts to feel hope blossom in his chest that the future won't be as bleak as it once seemed.


End file.
